this is me. everything here basically describes me pretty well. From the venting to the pictures I saw and went "oooooh pretty" this is how I am. I'm a neo-maxi-zoom-deweby, and im damn proud of it =D.
Ask me anything
Not sleeping opens many doors that most people would like to keep shut, but my brain and I are in some form of an abusive relationship, so there’s that. So, here I am, like most people engaging in the world of the internet, thinking and reflecting and trying to figure out what the fuck I did wrong. As always.
I have this issue with boys where I don’t trust them, I always assume the worst, they bring out the worst in me, and I like to be in control but always find myself riding shotgun, if you catch my drift. Basically, that means that I am an emotionally unavailable.
Or fuck that.
I’m pretty sure me and the a decent amount of girls my age feel like they are to blame for not having this perfect guy and we will vacation at his parent’s beach house, and I’ll have a career before I settle down to have his kids and it will be this perfect relationship where love always will win in the end through thick and thin.
Bitch, that is a pipe dream if I’ve ever heard one.
I know I find myself blaming me for my past and feelings and shit I can’t control, but can you blame me?
Somehow, guys always find a way to turn it on you, make you feel like the crazy one and that your emotions are invalid. I’m sure he doesn’t mean to do it, but that’s because he is too selfish, self-centered, and busy to be ready to take into consideration anyone else but himself. If anything, he is the emotionally unavailable one. You are the one on their way to watching Netflix until to makes your blood boil, a bed full of cereal boxes, and a perpetual fear of being vulnerable. And if that doesn’t kill you, then it will definitely make you stronger.
All and all, from personal experiences I guess my best advice would be, once you start apologizing for nothing or the things you can’t control it is time to sit down and really think about who you are letting yourself become.